letter fifty three

Hey Love,

I suppose I could talk about the time we had with God, but the three of us haven’t really seen eye to eye single to the glory for quite a while. Maybe it’s double vision.

I suppose I could talk about our time with my family, but I feel like you have to be there when I am with my family, like we have to invite you or you’ll feel bad. Or maybe it’s us who will feel bad.

I suppose I could talk about how girls wanted time with you and me, but how I didn’t want you with us, or how you didn’t come when I invited you.

I suppose I could talk about how boys wanted time with you and me, but how most boys weren’t conspicuous enough for me to invite you. Nevermind, because when boys were conspicuous, Fear was always much more intimidating than you were reassuring and I was inviting.

That leaves me with our time spent with my friends. You’ve been around every time I’ve been around my friends for the last few years. Thank you. You’ve helped us see eye to eye. You’ve come along invited or not, and I appreciate each of those times now, even if I didn’t then. You haven’t left even when I was reticent to let my friends know you were around. Thanks for that too. You get so big when you come around my friends and me; it makes me full.

Sometimes I approach empty because you seem to prefer spending time with my friends and God, or my friends and their families, or my friends and their significant others, but I’d like you to spend more time with me and God, or me and my family, or me and my potential significant others. Maybe then I wouldn’t get lonely as strongly as I do. Please don’t leave because you think I’m not grateful. I am grateful. It’s just that that I’m fairly sure my friends would rather spend time with you and God, their families, or their significant others.

Anyway, I should let you go, I know you’re really busy. We should hang out more though, even if it’s just the two of us.



About danarose

Textbook ENFP, if you're into that stuff (I am SO into that stuff). I love mountains and the ocean and my largest ambition in life is getting all of the people I love to live on the same block, to cook dinner, and talk with them every night.
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